the eeevil conservative


PROFILE?


Profiling sounds good to me!

I LOVE profiling.

So, here is my "profile."

The best way to get to know me would be to know what I want from my next husband. (yes- notice the word "next"- your first clue that my "profiling" talents may have been lacking in my younger days-back when I was an ERA freak and Democrat. Thank God for wisdom and maturity). I am looking for 4 things in particular in the next Mr. eeevil conservative that I refuse to waver on. My future mate must be:

  • RICH

  • MALE

  • CHAUVINIST

  • PIG
Now, first thing to notice is that it is obvious that I, myself, practice profiling. What is more telling is what my profiling tells you about me. For instance:

  • RICH- this tells you that I am an eeevil capitalist with no interest in a mama's boy who still lives at home in the basement and drives a junker with innovative automobile repairs such as duct tape and saran wrap windows.

  • MALE- rut roh! I must be an eeevil Christian, religious zealot, an obvious homo-phobe.

  • CHAUVINIST- yup- I view myself as the "weaker" and "lesser" sex, eager to find a man that won't "let" me work. Or as my friend Cedar Dave says, I want a "knuckle draggin' Neanderthal."

  • PIG- oh no! I must be racist. Pork products are "offensive" to the violent, blood thirsty, terrorists hijacking the Religion of Peace; and I want myself surrounded by pork 24/7, just to inflame their rage. I revel in having them hate me and am constantly looking for ways to "create" more terrorists.

    I find it amazing that "profiling" has turned into a PC civil rights issue. I mean let's just be honest. When common sense and the logical use of information is suggested to be applied to the job of protecting us from terrorists targeting civilians (root word there is civil), then I am "profiled" as a "racist" and a "fascist" out to trample civil rights.

    As a disclaimer, I would also like to add that I don't want the future Mr. EC telling me what to do. Yes, I want it both ways; which also tells you that I am still a typical woman.

    See how this works?